Every Nigga Wit' a Camera Ain't a Photographer

Can someone please tell me when 65% of the female population under the age of 30 decided that modeling was the career of choice?  No seriously.  I know anyone with a social networking page has seen all these "models" who pop up with the cell phone pics taken in the mirror of their filthy bed/bathrooms.   The "models" with portfolios that only consist of handbills for local parties and the aforementioned cell phone pics.  Now that we're all on the same page it's time that we call an intervention!!!  I don't wanna crush anyone's career dreams so I say we help these young fools...I mean "models"...so that they can diversify their portfolios and advance from cell phone pics and handbills to being featured in...um...well...hell, let's just help them take better "modeling" pics!

I am calling this movement "Every Nigga Wit' A Camera Ain't a Photographer!"  A real photographer has a passion for their work and WILL NOT want their name associated with whackness.  A nigga wit' a camera just wants to take lots of pics of dumb broads...I mean "models"... so he can post 'em on FB and have his friends jealous that females willingly take their clothes off for him in the name of "modeling".  A real photographer will direct his client:  turn that way, tilt your head this way, smile, etc.  A nigga wit' a camera will direct by saying, "damn, ma!  That's sexy!"  A real photographer will have props, shoot on location, have a vision for the shoot, etc.  A nigga wit a camera puts up a white sheet as a backdrop and photoshops the background.  A real photographer will have a portfolio showing his range of work and clients.  A nigga wit a camera has a stack of flyers and handbills, probably with misspellings and incorrect information and a model with the infamous "turn around, stick ya ass out, look over your shoulder, pucker your lips, and keep a blank expression" pose.  Speaking of poses, a real photographer knows how to direct his client so that her expression reads "sexy" and not "Duuuuhhh!  Which way did he go, George?  Which way did he go?"  A nigga wit a camera will tell her she's sexy even though her bullet wounds, stretch marks, bootydo, dirty panty set, and too small shoes suggest otherwise.

Now, I urge everyone who has read this to step up and take action!  When you see a young chick bragging about being a "model" pull her aside and talk to her.  Ask to see her portfolio.  Explain to her that real models have portfolios.  Tell her that real photographers do more than just handbills and flyers for their homies.  Tell her that real models get paid with more than just free admission to the club and cheap champagne to sip out of a plasti-flute (those cheap glasses you buy at the party outlets).  And finally, please, please, PLEASE explain to her that a model's job is to sell something.  If, after viewing her modeling portfolio, the only thing anyone wants to buy is ass, well, she is not a model.  She is a ho. 

If you don't like what I say, fly away...

So...I've finally decided to sit down and start a blog.  I know, I know...you are dying to read about my innermost thoughts and get a peek inside of the lil' lady in the big sunglasses.  But before you go any further, let me tell ya one thing:  this page ain't for sensitive folk.  I am not a candy maker, I do not sugarcoat.  I am a straight shooter and don't give a gnat poot about being PC.  I hate how so many folk in the black community use "nigga" like a term of endearment.  When you see "nigga" in these posts you better believe I am referring to ignant folk, whether they be black, white, yellow, red or brown.  Oh yeah, I cuss.  Sometimes a lot.  It's not that I'm ignorant or that I can't think of something better to say.  It's just that sometimes, "you raggedy ass muthafucka!" sounds a whole lot better than "you tawdry brummagem!"


Now, before I go let me warn you that you might see sides of me that you didn't know existed.  I can guarantee that at some point you will laugh, think, get mad, or just shake your head and say, "she's a mess..."  It's all good!  Oh yeah, if you wanna know my views on a given topic, post it in the comment section and I will discuss it in the future.